The Danger of Perfection

First off, congrats go out to Tony Dungy and the Colts who took home the big prize yesterday! While I secretly hoped Peyton didn't win (and get the undeserved MVP glory), I wanted Tony to win. From what I've seen, he is a great family man who is very humble and kind. How historic was that?! Change is slow but it is happening everyday!

While watching the superbowl highlights, I heard a few negative comments on Tank Johnson of the Chicago Bears. For those who don't know, Tank was arrested a few times last year. He seems to like illegal guns a little too much! To the dismay of a few, his team opted to let him play and not suspend him. One of the ESPN guys thought this was an abomination and complained how this was setting a poor example to our children. Michael Irvin, made a point that I 100% agreed with. And it's not so often that I agree with Mike...his defense of Terrell Owens can be sickening. But, Mike said something to effect of "this is his job and most people still have a job when they do something wrong." The more I thought about this, and the irony of who this made this comment, I remembered two relevant quotes:

**Ms. America did a 20/20 interview, which aired this past Friday. In the interview, she said her misjudgements and habits were actually good examples for kids. When asked to elaborate she said she never felt good enough to be a beauty queen. Growing up, the images she saw seemed to say only perfect women (in looks and behavior) could be a queen. From what she gathered, she was far from eligible. But, now, her bad behavior and subsequent therapy would show children legends do fall and no one in perfect.

**While reading Pearl Cleage's Somethings I Never Thought I'd Do, two characters (Blue and Regina) discussed Martin Luther King, Jr. and the book written by his second in command Ralph Abernathy. Mr. Abernathy's book seemed to back up decades of allegations that Mr. King was an adulterer. Many of us felt he was a snitch and good-for-nothing because he outted our hero Mr. King. While discussing the book, Blue said these secrets are important for us to know. He said the idea of a perfect hero leads us to believe we are unable to provoke change or make a difference in our world. Instead, we determine we are unworthy, average and not required to do anything special in this lifetime.

I agree with those statements and think we do a great disservice to ourselves and our children by:

1. Holding "heroes" to unrealistic expectations
2. Focusing on anyone's bad choices
3. Believing that perfection leads to success or special treatment

If you don't believe any of this is true and choose to teach your children differently, try reading The Overachievers - Secret Lives of Driven Kids. It may help you see just how wrong this line of thinking is and how damaging it is for our children.

While watching Akeelah and the Bee (which is a GREAT family movie), I was reminded of an awesome quote that is somewhat relevant....

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson (used by Mandela in his 1994 speech)